Holmes Minor

So, after a little hiatus, thank you all for joining me again. This month we are attending a talk on making and applying our own cosmetics! The lecturer will be the knowledgeable and talented Miss Erin Parsons, and I am greatly looking forward to hearing what she has to say. I of course do not use cosmetics myself, being a respectable older lady—

No, my gentle blush is entirely natural, Mrs. Frankles.

Yes, it is.

Well, some people have naturally streaky cheeks. Can we move on?

Ahem. Even though I don’t use cosmetics myself (Mrs. Frankles! Thank you) Mr. Holmes has apparently gained a great deal of useful advice from Miss Parsons and thoroughly recommended her as an informative evening-out for our little group.

So let us all take our seats in the hall! In preparation for writing our poems later, here is a quotation from Dr. Watson’s work, “The Dying Detective” to ponder:

“But your appearance, Holmes—your ghastly face?” “Three days of absolute fast does not improve one's beauty, Watson. For the rest, there is nothing which a sponge may not cure. With vaseline upon one's forehead, belladonna in one's eyes, rouge over the cheek-bones, and crusts of beeswax round one's lips, a very satisfying effect can be produced.”



And here is the list of poetry forms:

221B verselet, abecedarian poetry, acrostic poetry, alexandrine, ballad, barzelletta, beeswing, blackout poetry, blitz poem, blues stanza, bref double, Burns stanza, call and response, chastushka, cherita, cinquain, circular poetry, clerihew, clogyrnach, colour poems, compound word verse, concrete poetry, Cornish verse, curtal sonnet, débat, décima, descort, diamante, doggerel, double dactyl, echo verse, ekphrasis, elegiac couplet, elegiac stanza, elfje, englyn, enuig, epigram, epistle, epitaph, epulaeryu, Etheree, fable, Fib, florette, found poetry, free verse, ghazal, haiku, hay(na)ku, In Memoriam stanza, Italian sonnet, jueju, kennings poem, lanturne, lies, limerick, line messaging, list poem, lyric poetry, mathnawī, micropoetry, mini-monoverse, musette, nonsense verse, palindrome poetry, pantoum, Parallelismus Membrorum, poem cycle, puente, quatern, quintilla, renga, rhyming alliterisen, riddle, rimas dissolutas, rime couée, rispetto, Schüttelreim, sedoka, septet, sestina, shadorma, sonnet, stream of consciousness, tanka, tercet, terza rima, tongue twister poetry, triangular triplet, tricube, trine, triolet, Tyburn, villanelle, xenolith


And here is Miss Parsons to the stage!

Using REAL Victorian Makeup

It was a somewhat… involved… journey back from Switzerland, so I thought this month we would have a simple evening at Baker Street of tea, various fancies and an improving lecture.

To this end, I have invited Miss Nicole Rudolph to come and share her findings on the mysterious world of men’s pockets! Miss Rudolph is one of our American cousins, but I believe there is plenty of overlap between the gentlemen of our isles and gentlemen from across the Pond. (Though Mr. Holmes may be a one-off…)

Miss Rudolph, if you’d like to take it away, dear…?


When Men Had Too Many Pockets


( Read more... )

Welcome, everyone!

As you know, I have recently become interested in filling in the gaps in my family tree and I managed to discover that my great-great-great-grandfather came from a little village on the Isle of Mull. Thank you all for agreeing to accompany me on the lengthy journey to his birthplace in the near future and for attending this planning meeting today!

Now, travelling from Baker Street to the Inner Hebrides is no mean feat, and plotting the railway connections using our familiar Bradshaw’s Guides is a task for the keenest brain! But unfortunately Mrs. Small-Hobbit was otherwise engaged when I needed to assign the job, so I asked Mrs. Frankles if she wouldn’t mind taking a crack at it.

How are you doing, dear? You’ve got us out of the Home Counties? Oh, almost. Well, I’m sure you’ll get there, dear. How long have you been at it now?

Five and a half days. I see. Well, we’ll come back to that.

Mrs. Small-Hobbit, there is a… delicate matter that I need to discuss with you. I’m not a superstitious woman, but I can’t help but notice you have a certain effect on the trains when we travel by rail and so I was wondering—

Heavens, of course I’m not suggesting you stay behind! I was simply going to suggest that you give us a fighting chance and consent to be driven up to Scotland in a private automobile. At my expense naturally.

What’s that, Mrs. Frankles? Why, yes… I suppose it might make more sense for us to pool our resources and book a larger vehicle and drive up together. We could stop along the way and make a proper journey out of it. Excellent idea! Let’s do that!

Mrs. Frankles! I really don’t feel there’s any need to hurl my Bradshaw into the waste paper bin though.


Perhaps we should move on to composing some poetry to soothe all our nerves. To assist with inspiration, here is a quotation from Dr. Watson’s work, “The Valley of Fear”. (Mrs. Frankles, you are not to throw my copy of the Valley of Fear in the waste paper bin either! I know. Dear God, we all know. But Doctor Watson very kindly signed it for me and I am somewhat attached to it.)

“Our search is narrowed down to standardized books which anyone may be supposed to possess.”

“Bradshaw!”

“There are difficulties, Watson. The vocabulary of Bradshaw is nervous and terse, but limited. The selection of words would hardly lend itself to the sending of general messages. We will eliminate Bradshaw.”



And here as always is the list of poetry forms:

221B verselet, abecedarian poetry, acrostic poetry, alexandrine, ballad, barzelletta, beeswing, blackout poetry, blitz poem, blues stanza, bref double, Burns stanza, call and response, chastushka, cherita, cinquain, circular poetry, clerihew, clogyrnach, colour poems, compound word verse, concrete poetry, Cornish verse, curtal sonnet, débat, décima, descort, diamante, doggerel, double dactyl, echo verse, ekphrasis, elegiac couplet, elegiac stanza, elfje, englyn, enuig, epigram, epistle, epitaph, epulaeryu, Etheree, fable, Fib, florette, found poetry, free verse, ghazal, haiku, hay(na)ku, In Memoriam stanza, Italian sonnet, jueju, kennings poem, lanturne, lies, limerick, line messaging, list poem, lyric poetry, mathnawī, micropoetry, mini-monoverse, musette, nonsense verse, palindrome poetry, pantoum, Parallelismus Membrorum, poem cycle, puente, quatern, quintilla, renga, rhyming alliterisen, riddle, rimas dissolutas, rime couée, rispetto, Schüttelreim, sedoka, septet, sestina, shadorma, sonnet, stream of consciousness, tanka, tercet, terza rima, tongue twister poetry, triangular triplet, tricube, trine, triolet, Tyburn, villanelle, xenolith

And so, let’s get on track and let off some steam! (In written form, thank you, Mrs. Frankles.)

Welcome, everyone, once again!

For this month, I thought we would examine the world of ladies’ cricket! Miss Stirling here is temporarily lodging with Mrs. Turner for a few days, and has graciously agreed to come along to give us a little talk on her very own ladies’ cricket club, based in her home village of Shepstock.

If you’d like to begin, Miss Stirling…?



And you’re done, dear?

Yes, thank you, it was most entertaining… Full of colour!

Um, I did just wonder… Might you… have embellished details at all? It’s just… Well.

(Mrs. Frankles! We do not call guests unreliable narrators!) Though to be fair…

You’re not related to our Dr. Watson at all, are you, Miss Sterling? No, it was a long shot. Thank you again, dear! You’ve given us a lot to digest.


Here as well is a short pamphlet on ladies’ cricket, giving a broader look at the sport. (And perhaps keeping a little closer to the factual side of things…)


And thirdly, here is a quotation from Dr. Watson’s work, “The Adventure of the Missing Three-Quarter”:

”Yesterday we all came up and we settled at Bentley's private hotel. At ten o'clock I went round and saw that all the fellows had gone to roost, for I believe in strict training and plenty of sleep to keep a team fit.”

Hopefully this will all act as inspiration for your poetic endeavours.



Here as always is the list of poetry forms:

221B verselet, abecedarian poetry, acrostic poetry, alexandrine, ballad, barzelletta, beeswing, blackout poetry, blitz poem, blues stanza, bref double, Burns stanza, call and response, chastushka, cherita, cinquain, circular poetry, clerihew, clogyrnach, colour poems, compound word verse, concrete poetry, Cornish verse, curtal sonnet, débat, décima, descort, diamante, doggerel, double dactyl, echo verse, ekphrasis, elegiac couplet, elegiac stanza, elfje, englyn, enuig, epigram, epistle, epitaph, epulaeryu, Etheree, fable, Fib, florette, found poetry, free verse, ghazal, haiku, hay(na)ku, In Memoriam stanza, Italian sonnet, jueju, kennings poem, lanturne, lies, limerick, line messaging, list poem, lyric poetry, mathnawī, micropoetry, mini-monoverse, musette, nonsense verse, palindrome poetry, pantoum, Parallelismus Membrorum, poem cycle, puente, quatern, quintilla, renga, rhyming alliterisen, riddle, rimas dissolutas, rime couée, rispetto, Schüttelreim, sedoka, septet, sestina, shadorma, sonnet, stream of consciousness, tanka, tercet, terza rima, tongue twister poetry, triangular triplet, tricube, trine, triolet, Tyburn, villanelle, xenolith

And so let us have a quick visit to the pavilion, er, kitchen, for a tea break, and then on with the poetry!

Welcome, everyone! And thank you for joining me in my back garden.

As the weather becomes warmer and more clement, now I feel is the time for me to start clearing up my garden a little. It is of course rather small, with a very modest area of grass, but nevertheless I thought it might be interesting to try out a lawn mower. I have obtained one on approval—this model being recommended for ladies by the actress Marie Studholme. (Though unlike Miss Studholme, I will not be popping on my finest hat and frock to deal with the mowing…)

There are plenty of refreshments, so I hope the rest of you might also like to take a turn and between us we will soon get the place into perfect shape! And while our bodies are occupied with labour, hopefully our minds can be busy with producing poetry.



As extra inspiration, here is a quotation from Dr. Watson’s work, “A Study In Scarlet”:

I enumerated in my own mind all the various points upon which he had shown me that he was exceptionally well-informed. I even took a pencil and jotted them down. I could not help smiling at the document when I had completed it. It ran in this way—

Knowledge of Literature.—Nil.
Philosophy.—Nil.
Astronomy.—Nil.
Politics.—Feeble.
Botany.—Variable. Well up in belladonna, opium, and poisons generally. Knows nothing of practical gardening.



Here as always is the list of poetry forms:

221B verselet, abecedarian poetry, acrostic poetry, alexandrine, ballad, barzelletta, beeswing, blackout poetry, blitz poem, blues stanza, bref double, Burns stanza, call and response, chastushka, cherita, cinquain, circular poetry, clerihew, clogyrnach, colour poems, compound word verse, concrete poetry, Cornish verse, curtal sonnet, débat, décima, descort, diamante, doggerel, double dactyl, echo verse, ekphrasis, elegiac couplet, elegiac stanza, elfje, englyn, enuig, epigram, epistle, epitaph, epulaeryu, Etheree, fable, Fib, florette, found poetry, free verse, ghazal, haiku, hay(na)ku, In Memoriam stanza, Italian sonnet, jueju, kennings poem, lanturne, lies, limerick, line messaging, list poem, lyric poetry, mathnawī, micropoetry, mini-monoverse, musette, nonsense verse, palindrome poetry, pantoum, Parallelismus Membrorum, poem cycle, puente, quatern, quintilla, renga, rhyming alliterisen, riddle, rimas dissolutas, rime couée, rispetto, Schüttelreim, sedoka, septet, sestina, shadorma, sonnet, stream of consciousness, tanka, tercet, terza rima, tongue twister poetry, triangular triplet, tricube, trine, triolet, Tyburn, villanelle, xenolith

And so, let us begin!

Welcome again, everyone!

One of the advantages of having Mr. Holmes as a tenant is that his generous rent has allowed me in recent years to employ a dressmaker. However now Mrs. Scott is retiring and moving to be with her married daughter in Kent. And we are living in more straitened times, so to keep my accounts in order I thought it was time for me to refresh my skills and begin making my own garments again.

And I have invited Miss Bernadette Banner along to help me in this by showing us all how to make a bang up-to-date waistcoat!



Hopefully one kind of creating will then lead you to another. As further inspiration for your poems, here is a quotation from Dr. Watson’s work, “A Case of Identity”:


"The double line a little above the wrist, where the typewritist presses against the table, was beautifully defined. The sewing-machine, of the hand type, leaves a similar mark, but only on the left arm, and on the side of it farthest from the thumb, instead of being right across the broadest part, as this was."



Here as always is the list of poetry forms: [Note from Mrs. Frankles: Apologies for any broken links. I’m hoping to go through them before next month’s poetry page. I've now gone through all the links and updated them as necessary!]

221B verselet, abecedarian poetry, acrostic poetry, alexandrine, ballad, barzelletta, beeswing, blackout poetry, blitz poem, blues stanza, bref double, Burns stanza, call and response, chastushka, cherita, cinquain, circular poetry, clerihew, clogyrnach, colour poems, compound word verse, concrete poetry, Cornish verse, curtal sonnet, débat, décima, descort, diamante, doggerel, double dactyl, echo verse, ekphrasis, elegiac couplet, elegiac stanza, elfje, englyn, enuig, epigram, epistle, epitaph, epulaeryu, Etheree, fable, Fib, florette, found poetry, free verse, ghazal, haiku, hay(na)ku, In Memoriam stanza, Italian sonnet, jueju, kennings poem, lanturne, lies, limerick, line messaging, list poem, lyric poetry, mathnawī, micropoetry, mini-monoverse, musette, nonsense verse, palindrome poetry, pantoum, Parallelismus Membrorum, poem cycle, puente, quatern, quintilla, renga, rhyming alliterisen, riddle, rimas dissolutas, rime couée, rispetto, Schüttelreim, sedoka, septet, sestina, shadorma, sonnet, stream of consciousness, tanka, tercet, terza rima, tongue twister poetry, triangular triplet, tricube, trine, triolet, Tyburn, villanelle, xenolith

And so, Miss Banner, please take it away!

Welcome everyone!

I am taking the opportunity this month to show off my Christmas present from Mr. Holmes, a copper and brass tea caddy that has been produced by the Newton School of Metal Workers. The Newton School is part of the Home Arts and Industries Association, which itself is part of the Arts and Crafts Movement.

It’s a beautiful piece and I am deeply grateful to Mr. Holmes for his kind and thoughtful gift. Though if he thinks this means I am going to ignore the significant charring to the table in his living room he has another think coming.

But moving on! I have here a brochure which shows you several more of the gorgeous objects produced by the Newton School and I hope that something there might inspire you.


And as further inspiration, here is a quotation from Dr. Watson’s work, “The Adventure of the Copper Beeches”:

We were as good as our word, for it was just seven when we reached the Copper Beeches, having put up our trap at a wayside public-house. The group of trees, with their dark leaves shining like burnished metal in the light of the setting sun, were sufficient to mark the house even had Miss Hunter not been standing smiling on the door-step.



Here as always is the list of poetry forms:

221B verselet, abecedarian poetry, acrostic poetry, alexandrine, ballad, barzelletta, beeswing, blackout poetry, blitz poem, blues stanza, bref double, Burns stanza, call and response, chastushka, cherita, cinquain, circular poetry, clerihew, clogyrnach, colour poems, compound word verse, concrete poetry, Cornish verse, curtal sonnet, débat, décima, descort, diamante, doggerel, double dactyl, echo verse, ekphrasis, elegiac couplet, elegiac stanza, elfje, englyn, enuig, epigram, epistle, epitaph, epulaeryu, Etheree, fable, Fib, florette, found poetry, free verse, ghazal, haiku, hay(na)ku, In Memoriam stanza, Italian sonnet, jueju, kennings poem, lanturne, lies, limerick, line messaging, list poem, lyric poetry, mathnawī, micropoetry, mini-monoverse, musette, nonsense verse, palindrome poetry, pantoum, Parallelismus Membrorum, poem cycle, puente, quatern, quintilla, renga, rhyming alliterisen, riddle, rimas dissolutas, rime couée, rispetto, Schüttelreim, sedoka, septet, sestina, shadorma, sonnet, stream of consciousness, tanka, tercet, terza rima, tongue twister poetry, triangular triplet, tricube, trine, triolet, Tyburn, villanelle, xenolith


And so, each artist to their craft!

Ah, Mrs. Frankles, you’ve managed to make it just in time!

And so for February, let us go on a mini-bummel! Mrs. Frankles previously has informed me that her favourite film is "Carry On Cleo" and that is why—

Actually, Mrs. Frankles, I don’t think I’ve seen that one. What’s it like? Oh, it’s a comedy. With puns. No, dear! I don’t think you need to go into detail! Knowing your particular tastes, I’m sure it’s hilarious.

Yes…

Anyway, having been inspired by Mrs. Frankles’ favourite film, I thought we might go and visit Cleopatra’s Needle on the Victoria Embankment. A real ancient Egyptian obelisk, with its twin standing in New York’s Central Park, I believe.


And as added inspiration for your poetry, here is a quotation from Dr. Watson’s work, “The Adventure of the Devil's Foot”:

It was a country of rolling moors, lonely and dun-colored, with an occasional church tower to mark the site of some old-world village. In every direction upon these moors there were traces of some vanished race which had passed utterly away, and left as its sole record strange monuments of stone…



Here as usual is the list of poetry forms:

221B verselet, abecedarian poetry, acrostic poetry, alexandrine, ballad, barzelletta, beeswing, blackout poetry, blitz poem, blues stanza, bref double, Burns stanza, call and response, chastushka, cherita, cinquain, circular poetry, clerihew, clogyrnach, colour poems, compound word verse, concrete poetry, Cornish verse, curtal sonnet, débat, décima, descort, diamante, doggerel, double dactyl, echo verse, ekphrasis, elegiac couplet, elegiac stanza, elfje, englyn, enuig, epigram, epistle, epitaph, epulaeryu, Etheree, fable, Fib, florette, found poetry, free verse, ghazal, haiku, hay(na)ku, In Memoriam stanza, Italian sonnet, jueju, kennings poem, lanturne, lies, limerick, line messaging, list poem, lyric poetry, mathnawī, micropoetry, mini-monoverse, musette, nonsense verse, palindrome poetry, pantoum, Parallelismus Membrorum, poem cycle, puente, quatern, quintilla, renga, rhyming alliterisen, riddle, rimas dissolutas, rime couée, rispetto, Schüttelreim, sedoka, septet, sestina, shadorma, sonnet, stream of consciousness, tanka, tercet, terza rima, tongue twister poetry, triangular triplet, tricube, trine, triolet, Tyburn, villanelle, xenolith


And so, let us make our way to the obelisk!

Welcome, everyone!

This month we will be attempting a mini-bummel and going to the local church hall to hear a talk. The talker is the estimable Arthur Gay Payne and he will be telling us about The Art of Cooking an Omelette! I believe the contents of his talk first appeared in Cassell's Family Magazine, in 1883.

I hope the talk will improve your culinary skills and also whet your appetite—both for the supper on our return and for creating poetry!



As added inspiration here is a quotation from Dr. Watson’s story, “A Story in Scarlet”:


“What ineffable twaddle!” I cried, slapping the magazine down on the table, “I never read such rubbish in my life.”

“What is it?” asked Sherlock Holmes.

“Why, this article,” I said, pointing at it with my egg spoon as I sat down to my breakfast.

(The good doctor is of course not referring to Mr. Payne’s work. The ineffable twaddle was written by Mr. Holmes.)



Here as usual is the list of poetry forms:

221B verselet, abecedarian poetry, acrostic poetry, alexandrine, ballad, barzelletta, beeswing, blackout poetry, blitz poem, blues stanza, bref double, Burns stanza, call and response, chastushka, cherita, cinquain, circular poetry, clerihew, clogyrnach, colour poems, compound word verse, concrete poetry, Cornish verse, curtal sonnet, débat, décima, descort, diamante, doggerel, double dactyl, echo verse, ekphrasis, elegiac couplet, elegiac stanza, elfje, englyn, enuig, epigram, epistle, epitaph, epulaeryu, Etheree, fable, Fib, florette, found poetry, free verse, ghazal, haiku, hay(na)ku, In Memoriam stanza, Italian sonnet, jueju, kennings poem, lanturne, lies, limerick, line messaging, list poem, lyric poetry, mathnawī, micropoetry, mini-monoverse, musette, nonsense verse, palindrome poetry, pantoum, Parallelismus Membrorum, poem cycle, puente, quatern, quintilla, renga, rhyming alliterisen, riddle, rimas dissolutas, rime couée, rispetto, Schüttelreim, sedoka, septet, sestina, shadorma, sonnet, stream of consciousness, tanka, tercet, terza rima, tongue twister poetry, triangular triplet, tricube, trine, triolet, Tyburn, villanelle, xenolith


And so, if you will put on your masks and remember to continue to social distance from the other members of the audience…? Excellent. Let us go and learn about omelettes!

As we are currently experiencing traditional British summer weather—rain and overcast skies—I thought this month we would stay cosily inside, and I could show off my recent purchase. Yes, thanks to Mr. Holmes’s most recent and generous rent increase, I have bought myself a digital watch!

If you’d all like to— MRS. FRANKLES!

Mrs. Frankles, did you just spit elderflower cordial all over my soft furnishings?

Yes, well, I can understand your being impressed, but I don’t quite comprehend the level of your surprise…

Anachronistic? I don’t really see what you’re driving at, dear. Digital clocks and watches have not been in production for that long. You could call them bang up-to-date even. I must admit I find them rather fascinating—the concept of using clockwork to show individual digits through windows on a dial, instead of hands moving around a clock face.

What, Mrs. Frankles? Yes, clockwork. Well, what did you think I meant? Mrs. Frankles…?

(I don’t know.) Anyway, perhaps you’d all like to come forward and examine my new timepiece—carefully, please!—and I hope it will inspire you all creatively.


And as added inspiration here is a quotation from Dr. Watson’s story, “The Adventure of the Speckled Band”:


Far away we could hear the deep tones of the parish clock, which boomed out every quarter of an hour. How long they seemed, those quarters! Twelve struck, and one and two and three, and still we sat waiting silently for whatever might befall.



Here as usual is the list of poetry forms:

221B verselet, abecedarian poetry, acrostic poetry, alexandrine, ballad, barzelletta, beeswing, blackout poetry, blitz poem, blues stanza, bref double, Burns stanza, call and response, chastushka, cherita, cinquain, circular poetry, clerihew, clogyrnach, colour poems, compound word verse, concrete poetry, Cornish verse, curtal sonnet, débat, décima, descort, diamante, doggerel, double dactyl, echo verse, ekphrasis, elegiac couplet, elegiac stanza, elfje, englyn, enuig, epigram, epistle, epitaph, epulaeryu, Etheree, fable, Fib, florette, found poetry, free verse, ghazal, haiku, hay(na)ku, In Memoriam stanza, Italian sonnet, jueju, kennings poem, lanturne, lies, limerick, line messaging, list poem, lyric poetry, mathnawī, micropoetry, mini-monoverse, musette, nonsense verse, palindrome poetry, pantoum, Parallelismus Membrorum, poem cycle, puente, quatern, quintilla, renga, rhyming alliterisen, riddle, rimas dissolutas, rime couée, rispetto, Schüttelreim, sedoka, septet, sestina, shadorma, sonnet, stream of consciousness, tanka, tercet, terza rima, tongue twister poetry, triangular triplet, tricube, trine, triolet, Tyburn, villanelle, xenolith


And now, let us take some time to compose!