holmes_minor | The Poetry Page: On The Bummel with Mrs. Hudson (Reply)

Excuse me? Excuse me, everyone! I think that was the bell for the end of the interval, so if you all could start making your way back to your seats… No, Mrs. Small-Hobbit, I really don’t think there’s time for another glass of champagne. If you could make your way back to our box with us, dear! (Can you prop her up a little, Mrs. P?)

Yes, Mrs. P., it was kind of Mr. Holmes to pay for a box at the opera for us all. Least he could do, to be fair, after that punch-up in my pantry with a miscreant. Three fruit pies and a whole leg of mutton! All ruined! And that chafing dish will never be the same again. Yes, yes, I know I should stop ruminating upon it. It’s only upsetting me. Off you go, Mrs. P.! Go and get Mrs. S-M sitting down.

What do you think of the production so far, La Poetisa? It’s quite a charming revival of Iolanthe, don’t you think? Mr. Gilbert and Sir Arthur Sullivan are so clever, aren’t they? Oh, you’re writing a critical essay about the libretto. I see… Er, could you try not to make Mr. Gilbert cry this time? I believe he and Doctor Watson have a nodding acquaintance and well—

Oh, this is our box, isn’t it? Let’s get ourselves settled and… Actually, could I have a quick word, Mrs. Frankles, before you sit down? It’s about the… um, “singing.” You really have to stop doing it.

No, you can’t join in even when it’s the chorus singing.

No, not even during the loud parts.

I said no, Mrs. Frankles. Please go and sit down.

And I’d better take my seat too… Oh, I’m really looking forward to the second half, Mrs. P.! One of my favourite songs is coming up in a little while:

Oh, foolish fay

Oh, has Mrs. Small-Hobbit decided to take a nap? I say… Mrs. P.? Are you responsible for the ink moustache on Mrs. S-M’s upper lip? Yes, it is most impressive and, yes, beautifully drawn. But that really wasn’t my point, dear.

You know, I don’t think any of you are taking this comic opera seriously enough.

Well, at least maybe after the performance we will all be inspired to produce our own poetry. I have also jotted down a quotation from Dr. Watson’s work, “The Sign of the Four”:

At the Lyceum Theatre the crowds were already thick at the side-entrances. In front a continuous stream of hansoms and four-wheelers were rattling up, discharging their cargoes of shirt-fronted men and beshawled, bediamonded women.

And here is the list of poetry forms:

221B verselet, abecedarian poetry, acrostic poetry, alexandrine, ballad, barzelletta, beeswing, blackout poetry, blitz poem, blues stanza, bref double, Burns stanza, call and response, chastushka, cherita, cinquain, circular poetry, clerihew, clogyrnach, colour poems, compound word verse, concrete poetry, Cornish verse, curtal sonnet, débat, décima, descort, diamante, doggerel, double dactyl, echo verse, ekphrasis, elegiac couplet, elegiac stanza, elfje, englyn, enuig, epigram, epistle, epitaph, epulaeryu, Etheree, fable, Fib, florette, found poetry, free verse, ghazal, haiku, hay(na)ku, In Memoriam stanza, Italian sonnet, jueju, kennings poem, lanturne, lies, limerick, line messaging, list poem, lyric poetry, mathnawī, micropoetry, mini-monoverse, musette, nonsense verse, palindrome poetry, pantoum, Parallelismus Membrorum, poem cycle, puente, quatern, quintilla, renga, rhyming alliterisen, riddle, rimas dissolutas, rime couée, rispetto, Schüttelreim, sedoka, septet, sestina, shadorma, sonnet, stream of consciousness, tanka, tercet, terza rima, tongue twister poetry, triangular triplet, tricube, trine, triolet, Tyburn, villanelle, xenolith

(Ah, the lights are being turned down and the curtain is going up. Here we go everyone!)