holmes_minor | The Poetry Page: Social Distancing with Mrs. Hudson

With restrictions easing a little more, and having consulted with Mr. Holmes’ brother, I can now let you know we are able to start making our way back to London and Baker Street! Likely our journey will be punctuated with a few hiccups but I am sure we can return home safely and without endangering others. So, if you would all like to go and do your packing…? Lovely.

Though, Mrs. Small-Hobbit, where is Mrs. Frankles? No, actually, don’t worry, I think I can hear her out in the garden doing her post-work scream. Some customers can be so stupid and selfish, can’t they—?

Oh.

Good heavens, that’s… quite an interesting bit of vocabulary from Mrs. Frankles. Mrs. Small-Hobbit, would you mind approaching cautiously and giving her the good news that we’re going home? Thank you, dear. You’re a trouper.

First Hiccup—The Omnibus

Ah, it’s lovely to be on our way at last!

Yes, Mrs. Frankles? What’s that, dear? A man at the back is refusing to wear his mask because it impedes his “freedom”?

No, Mrs. Frankles! You certainly can’t punch him in the face.

Because then you would be breaking the social distancing rules!

Everyone, can I ask you to add as accessory to your mask your hardest stare? Excellent. Now if we can all turn and direct those stares at the miscreant… And hold… And hold… Mrs. Frankles, I really don’t think we need the added hand gestures… And hold...

Ah, there we go. I knew he’d see sense. Thank you, sir, for putting your mask in place!

(Oh, is he crying? What a shame.)

Second Hiccup—The Ferry

Yes, I know you’re sorry about mislaying the tickets, Mrs. Frankles. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that we are now all hiding in the bilge.

Hmm?

Yes, again, the fact there is plenty of space here for us all to continue to adhere to social-distancing is of very little comfort. Hopefully when we reach the mainland we can find some facilities and have a thorough wash…

Third Hiccup—The Train

Look at it this way—at least the lingering smell is keeping people at a distance! Perhaps I’ll just open the windows though…

(Dear God. Not much longer now…)

Final Hiccup—The Pub

Sorry. It’s silly for me to be so tearful but it just all caught up with me. Being back in London… The pubs open again… Mrs. Frankles actually offering to buy a round… And then finding the Red Lion had run out of gin…!

Oh dear, I’m so sorry! I’ll be all right in a moment. Let me just discreetly wipe my eyes…

What’s that, Mrs. Small-Hobbit? You had arranged for a delivery of gin to Baker Street before we left! You wonderful woman!

Right everyone! One last ‘bus. No, let’s run—it’ll be faster!

And as we go, perhaps everyone can reflect on our journey and use it as fodder for poetry!

Here is a quotation from Doctor Watson’s story “The Adventure of the Red Circle”:

“Why, Gregson!” said my companion as he shook hands with the Scotland Yard detective. “Journeys end with lovers' meetings. What brings you here?”

And here as well is the usual list of poetry forms:

221B verselet, abecedarian poetry, acrostic poetry, alexandrine, ballad, barzelletta, beeswing, blackout poetry, blitz poem, blues stanza, bref double, Burns stanza, call and response, chastushka, cherita, cinquain, circular poetry, clerihew, clogyrnach, colour poems, compound word verse, concrete poetry, Cornish verse, curtal sonnet, débat, décima, descort, diamante, doggerel, double dactyl, echo verse, ekphrasis, elegiac couplet, elegiac stanza, elfje, englyn, enuig, epigram, epistle, epitaph, epulaeryu, Etheree, fable, Fib, florette, found poetry, free verse, ghazal, haiku, hay(na)ku, In Memoriam stanza, Italian sonnet, jueju, kennings poem, lanturne, lies, limerick, line messaging, list poem, lyric poetry, mathnawī, micropoetry, mini-monoverse, musette, nonsense verse, palindrome poetry, pantoum, Parallelismus Membrorum, poem cycle, puente, quatern, quintilla, renga, rhyming alliterisen, riddle, rimas dissolutas, rime couée, rispetto, Schüttelreim, sedoka, septet, sestina, shadorma, sonnet, stream of consciousness, tanka, tercet, terza rima, tongue twister poetry, triangular triplet, tricube, trine, triolet, Tyburn, villanelle, xenolith

So, faster, everyone! Faster! Gin cocktails and Baker Street await...!