Admin Post: The Poetry Page: Social Distancing with Mrs. Hudson

[scfrankles]

With restrictions easing a little more, and having consulted with Mr. Holmes’ brother, I can now let you know we are able to start making our way back to London and Baker Street! Likely our journey will be punctuated with a few hiccups but I am sure we can return home safely and without endangering others. So, if you would all like to go and do your packing…? Lovely.

Though, Mrs. Small-Hobbit, where is Mrs. Frankles? No, actually, don’t worry, I think I can hear her out in the garden doing her post-work scream. Some customers can be so stupid and selfish, can’t they—?

Oh.

Good heavens, that’s… quite an interesting bit of vocabulary from Mrs. Frankles. Mrs. Small-Hobbit, would you mind approaching cautiously and giving her the good news that we’re going home? Thank you, dear. You’re a trouper.



First Hiccup—The Omnibus

Ah, it’s lovely to be on our way at last!

Yes, Mrs. Frankles? What’s that, dear? A man at the back is refusing to wear his mask because it impedes his “freedom”?

No, Mrs. Frankles! You certainly can’t punch him in the face.

Because then you would be breaking the social distancing rules!

Everyone, can I ask you to add as accessory to your mask your hardest stare? Excellent. Now if we can all turn and direct those stares at the miscreant… And hold… And hold… Mrs. Frankles, I really don’t think we need the added hand gestures… And hold...

Ah, there we go. I knew he’d see sense. Thank you, sir, for putting your mask in place!

(Oh, is he crying? What a shame.)



Second Hiccup—The Ferry

Yes, I know you’re sorry about mislaying the tickets, Mrs. Frankles. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that we are now all hiding in the bilge.

Hmm?

Yes, again, the fact there is plenty of space here for us all to continue to adhere to social-distancing is of very little comfort. Hopefully when we reach the mainland we can find some facilities and have a thorough wash…



Third Hiccup—The Train

Look at it this way—at least the lingering smell is keeping people at a distance! Perhaps I’ll just open the windows though…

(Dear God. Not much longer now…)



Final Hiccup—The Pub

Sorry. It’s silly for me to be so tearful but it just all caught up with me. Being back in London… The pubs open again… Mrs. Frankles actually offering to buy a round… And then finding the Red Lion had run out of gin…!

Oh dear, I’m so sorry! I’ll be all right in a moment. Let me just discreetly wipe my eyes…

What’s that, Mrs. Small-Hobbit? You had arranged for a delivery of gin to Baker Street before we left! You wonderful woman!

Right everyone! One last ‘bus. No, let’s run—it’ll be faster!

And as we go, perhaps everyone can reflect on our journey and use it as fodder for poetry!



Here is a quotation from Doctor Watson’s story “The Adventure of the Red Circle”:


“Why, Gregson!” said my companion as he shook hands with the Scotland Yard detective. “Journeys end with lovers' meetings. What brings you here?”



And here as well is the usual list of poetry forms:

221B verselet, abecedarian poetry, acrostic poetry, alexandrine, ballad, barzelletta, beeswing, blackout poetry, blitz poem, blues stanza, bref double, Burns stanza, call and response, chastushka, cherita, cinquain, circular poetry, clerihew, clogyrnach, colour poems, compound word verse, concrete poetry, Cornish verse, curtal sonnet, débat, décima, descort, diamante, doggerel, double dactyl, echo verse, ekphrasis, elegiac couplet, elegiac stanza, elfje, englyn, enuig, epigram, epistle, epitaph, epulaeryu, Etheree, fable, Fib, florette, found poetry, free verse, ghazal, haiku, hay(na)ku, In Memoriam stanza, Italian sonnet, jueju, kennings poem, lanturne, lies, limerick, line messaging, list poem, lyric poetry, mathnawī, micropoetry, mini-monoverse, musette, nonsense verse, palindrome poetry, pantoum, Parallelismus Membrorum, poem cycle, puente, quatern, quintilla, renga, rhyming alliterisen, riddle, rimas dissolutas, rime couée, rispetto, Schüttelreim, sedoka, septet, sestina, shadorma, sonnet, stream of consciousness, tanka, tercet, terza rima, tongue twister poetry, triangular triplet, tricube, trine, triolet, Tyburn, villanelle, xenolith


So, faster, everyone! Faster! Gin cocktails and Baker Street await...!

Comments

[smallhobbit]

The fate of the man with no mask
Who was rapidly taken to task
Felt the force of our glare
And the need to take care
Because really it’s not too much to ask

[scfrankles]

Because really it’s not too much to ask

It really isn't. Well, played, madam ^___^

[smallhobbit]

Thank you!

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Very timely verse! The sentiment of many expressed.

[smallhobbit]

Thank you very much - Indeed!

[smallhobbit]

The delivery man has been
The gin is on the table
This is the best sight we have seen
I’m glad he got my cable

[scfrankles]

Journeys end with lovers' meetings.

The greatest love story of them all - Mrs. Hudson/gin... *sighs*

[smallhobbit]

That's my OTP!

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

The end of many a journey for Mrs. H.

[smallhobbit]

And who can blame her?

The Stranger on the Omnibus

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

All through the town, the wheels go round and round.
It’s him and us, on the old omnibus.
He won’t wear masks, no matter who asks.
For a bit of fun, he mimes he’s got one.
He makes a charade on our wheeled parade.
He wrings his hands and claws. It gives us pause.
We try some science. He doesn’t buy it.
He stands by rubbish, not shy to publish
its boons. We yield: there’s no swaying raccoons!

Re: The Stranger on the Omnibus

[smallhobbit]

Excellent!

Re: The Stranger on the Omnibus

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Thanks!

The Ferry

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

On the ferry, it’s not merry, down in the bilge
Without ticket, we must stick it, down in the bilge
Sort of niffy, sitting stiffly, down in the bilge
New stowaway, he’s pink and grey, down in the bilge
Good at charades, many limbs he waves, down in the bilge
Water’s slapping, cards are clapping, down in the bilge
Now it’s not dull, hid in the hull, down in the bilge
One and all mates, playing mad eights, down in the bilge!

Re: The Ferry

[smallhobbit]

How lovely that the ladies had some good company :D

Re: The Ferry

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Thank you! One of the boys' cartoons is about an octopus who sneaks aboard a ship (and eventually crashes a luau).

Re: The Ferry

[scfrankles]

That really tickled me ^____^ (Must be all those tentacles :P)

Re: The Ferry

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Ha, ha! On to the train!

The Train

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

We spy an odd stranger in the slow train to town.
His muffler’s pulled far up; his hat is pulled far down.
Dark spectacles are perched on his pointed nose.
His whiskers are quite long; he holds his paper close.
His Inverness hangs straight, thin like a needle spire.
His spine is something lax; he shifts like bending wire.
The train collector shows; a ticket is produced.
in tiny hand engulfed by woolen sleeve well-loosed.
What is the sir’s last stop? His voice is low yet known.
We rush to drop a pane before the goose is flown.
A stripping wind blows in; the fiend makes to escape
He wobbles on his feet; his coat flaps like a cape.
A gust soon lays it bare, without glasses, coat, or hat:
ten minion mice supporting Ratigan the Rat!

There goes the mastermind! His crew's left to face the tune.
By open window his flight, vanished by afternoon!
A dark plan is thwarted, a vile scheme postponed,
until the next is hatched and new disguise is honed!

Re: The Train

[smallhobbit]

This is definitely an adventurous journey home - shame Ratigan escaped, but at least his plan is thwarted for now :)

Re: The Train

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

I know, right? They are encountering all kinds of funny creatures. You never really defeat Ratigan, I think. One more stop: the pub!

Re: The Train

[scfrankles]

Some great use of description and a great reveal ^_____^

Re: The Train

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Thank you very much!

The public house

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

It’s been here since the Romans first arrived
or so the plaque nailed to the wall proclaims.
No membership required, real or contrived,
to play in these fine watering hole games.

A draught of beer or cider can be drawn
and doled and drunk, a pow’rful thirst to slake
The tavern roof’s held up by four walls’ brawn,
no nibbles served, no vittles to partake.

Belly up to the bar, no need to sit
at table. Polished wood and polished brass
await the pilgrim, armchair bard, and git,
as does a barkeep’s pour as smooth as glass.

There are a few eels well into their cups;
a rattle of tipsy snakes throwing dice.
The game is on for a pack of young pups,
who’re swapping taunts with a nest of old mice.

There’s a mynah bird reciting some Keats
while the iguanas do nothing but stare.
There’s a blind badger recounting bold feats
like that one time he and pa slew the bear.

We sip our gin and juice like all the rest
and watch the tarantulas throwing darts.
We all laugh hard at a good-natured jest
and singalong with all lungs and all hearts.

No one’s allowed to snicker, and no one’s allowed to shun,
‘Cause when the sign o’er the house says ‘public’ that means everyone!

Re: The public house

[smallhobbit]

Oh, that's wonderful, to see everyone there!

Re: The public house

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

I read about the four rules for a public house (most of them seem to do with not being required to serve food) and thought it would be nice way to end the four parts.

Re: The public house

[scfrankles]

That's just lovely ^___^ I love the style of language you've used, and as always your use of description is so vivid.

I'm particularly taken with A draught of beer or cider can be drawn/ and doled and drunk, and a rattle of tipsy snakes throwing dice, and those final two lines ^____^

Re: The public house

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Thank you very much! It was interesting to learn about what makes a public house in Britain. And I had visions of a kind of menagerie to close out the series. Snake eyes! I love the dice image, too.