Fic: Bloody Mushrooms!: Gen

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Title: Bloody Mushrooms!
Length: 500
Rating: Gen
Notes: genderswapped Holmes/Watson; follow-on from Bloody Sailors! of my Bloody Balzac series; "The Abbey Grange" Alternate Ending.
Summary: Convalescing after Captain Crocker's attack, Watson waxes philosophic.
Author's Notes: for June monthy prompt: Mistaken Identity. The quote from Watson's aunt is actually from  Myrtle Reed's Threads of Gold and Gray (1902).


“Oh, yes,” I breathed and began to sit myself up in bed at once.

The aroma had reached my nose long before Holmes appeared in the doorway with the tray, and with every careful footfall on the stairs, the delectable fragrance and my appetite strengthened.

“Poulet aux champignons,” announced Holmes triumphantly as she entered the bedroom.

“Hurrah,” I cried with the exuberance reserved for the convalescent who has finally graduated from broth. “No more tea and toast!  Tomorrow, modesty and hygiene be damned, I declare that I shall swaddle myself and descend to the world of the living once again.”

“I think it’s safe,” said Holmes. “You’re healing very nicely, indeed, and you need not take my layman’s word for it, I went to see your colleague the burn specialist and described the condition of your skin in minute details.  He concurs.”

I could only hum, for my mouth was too full of savory manna.  Then I quickly became engrossed in eyeing the small glass of sherry on the tray with no little lasciviousness.

Holmes sat on the edge of the bed by my knees.

“Watson, I also went to see Lady Brackenstall this morning. I told her everything: of our mock trail of Captain Crocker; of your purposefully provocative ‘guilty’ verdict; of Captain Crocker’s reaction, which was to rage and douse you in lamp oil and set you on fire; and of Captain Crocker’s subsequent arrest and pending trial.”

“And?”

“She fell into a fit from which she did not recover—at least in my presence.”

I inclined my head and shrugged. “At the risk of sounding heartless, my concern for Lady Brackenstall is minimal. She has her entirely too faithful maid to tend to her.  She may recover. She may not. She may come to understand or learn or accept the circumstances or her role in them.  She may not. Tricky thing in some respects, but, you know, in other ways, I think it’s a simple matter of mistaken identity.” I could no longer resist the siren song of the sherry. I took a sip and sighed rapturously, “Oh, hello, my beautiful,” as it made its way across my palate and down my gullet.

“Mistaken identity? How so, Watson?”

I speared the largest of the brown crescents on the plate with my fork, then held it out towards Holmes.

“Well, I had an aunt who used to said, ‘The only way to test a man is to marry him. If you live, it’s a mushroom. If you die, it’s a toadstool.’”

Holmes snorted.  “I see that there is an awfully cynical branch of the Watson family tree as well as a romantic one.”

I grinned ruefully. “The latter often turns to the former, with time and experience, my dear Holmes.”

Holmes nodded, then leaned forward and swept the fork clean with her mouth.

“I suppose so," she said with her mouth full, "but in that case, all that’s left to say is, 'Hurrah for us bloody mushrooms!'”

Comments

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

In some ways that would have been a better way of dealing with Crocker, although not if that was the outcome.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm not a fan of canon Holmes's brand of personal justice.

[mafief.livejournal.com]

Your mushroom quote vaguely reminds me of “There are old mycologists and there are bold mycologists, but there are no old, bold mycologists.”

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Ha! You can't always learn from your mistakes.

[debriswoman]

And all ends well:-)

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Yes, Watson heals and emerges from sickbed, Crocker gets his hanging, and hopefully Lady Brackenstall learns a lesson or two.

[scfrankles.livejournal.com]

On a lighter note, I haven't eaten meat in over 30 years, I don't drink, and I've never really been a fan of the taste of mushrooms... But you really made me feel just how utterly delicious and irresistible Watson's meal is ^__^ A lovely bit of writing.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Ah, quite a feat! Yes, that joy of being able to eat (whatever the composition of the meal) after a long bout of convalescence is, I think, universal.

Thank you!