Fic: A Fine Romance: Gen

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Title: A Fine Romance
Length: 500
Rating: Gen
Content: Holmes/Watson, anachronistic songfic, reference to the untold case 'the bogus laundry affair.'
Summary: Holmes & Watson's romance gets off to a rocky start.
Author's Note: for the monthly prompt "The March of Time," which is mentioned in the song, "A Fine Romance," which is from the 1936 film Swing Time. The song lyrics are in italics.


“I’m sorry,” I began as an army of Yarders invaded the warehouse, marching around us like ants at a picnic.

Holmes paused in cutting the bonds at my ankles to put a single finger to my lips. “Not a word until I advise it, Watson,” he said in a low, harsh voice.

He hardly spoke a word after that, and by the time we’d reached Baker Street, the weight of my own foolishness was so burdensome that I headed directly for my bedroom without a glance or a mumble of leave-taking for my companion.
A word from Holmes stopped me.

“Why?”

I turned to face him.

“That is the part that I do not fathom, Watson. Why did you get yourself involved in this ‘bogus laundry affair’?  You are not a criminal, yet you entered their den, their enterprise, willingly, eagerly.”

“To be the romantic hero, but things didn’t turn out as I’d envisioned.  I played the damsel in distress, instead,” I said bitterly. “I thought, well, damned what I thought.”

“Spare a bit of clay for my bricks, my dear man. Tell me what you thought. I know you’ve been unhappy of late.  I feared that you were regretting your decision to declare your feeling for me or, even worse, regretting my declaration of reciprocation.”

“No, not regret. Just a bit of ‘what now?’ We shared a moment of supreme significance, sentiment, import, etcetera, and, well, I expected a fine romance to follow. But nothing’s happened! You’ve been working case after case, with no time for much more than a cordial nod. It’s like the song says, ‘True love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has,’ but ‘we don't have half the thrills that "The March of Time" has.’ I entered into a bit of healthy crime in the hopes that the thrills and the true love would result.”

Holmes’s brow was furrowed, his expression grave.

“You think I’m mad?” I asked.

“In your reliance upon literal interpretation of popular song as dictator of behaviour, yes, but not in your original expectation.” He strode to the bookcase and plucked an envelope from between a pair of thick tomes. “I’ve been working to earn fees to pay for this.”

I realised at once that the paper inside the envelope was an itinerary. For two.

“Oh, Holmes! Paris! Venice! Rome!”

“What say you to a romantic holiday far from the maddening crowd, my dear man?”

I melted, then looked at him through half-lidded eyes and replied in a husky baritone, “I say ‘I’d like to muss a crease in your blue serge pants.’”

He frowned. “Watson, I don’t know what that means, but I advise you to save it for the Continent—and the sleeper cars.”

“Oh, sorry, yes, of course. I say, ‘This is a fine romance!’”

“Indeed. Or, rather, it will be.”

“And if, on this glamourous journey of ours, there happens to be a cunningly executed murder on one of the trains?”

“So much the better.” 
 

Comments

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

Yes, you wrote it! Poor Watson, seduced by song lyrics and unaware of Holmes having his own plans. I trust they will enjoy their fine romance with, or without, murder on the orient express.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Yes! Minisculus is taking a nap, so I thought I'd bang it out. Very silly but then they can't all be Clever and Profound, no? And I've got murder trains on the brain, don't I? Sometimes you do get song lyrics in your head and wonder why can't life be like that? I don't know that Watson would actually fall prey to it, but hey...on y va!

[debriswoman]

Impressed by Holmes’ thoughtfulness.
I would still like to know more about the bogus laundry affair, though
Nicely done:-)

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

Yes, me, too. Perhaps, Kipling's involved...

Yes, in this he's a bit more stoic than I'd imagine, but warm and thoughtful below the surface.

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid my first reaction to listening to that song is "...was someone PAID to write this thing?"

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Aw. It was my first thought when I saw the prompt. Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald did it in a duet once.

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

Also - awwwww! That sap, taking boring but lucrative cases just to give his honey a honeymoon.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Yes, sit-com stuff, but it's still sweet.

[scfrankles.livejournal.com]

I melted, then looked at him through half-lidded eyes and replied in a husky baritone, “I say ‘I’d like to muss a crease in your blue serge pants.’”

He frowned. “Watson, I don’t know what that means, but I advise you to save it for the Continent—and the sleeper cars.” ^____^

I really like that song, and it fits Holmes and Watson so well here. It was such a clever connection to make ^__^ (Yes, sit-com stuff, but it's still sweet. I don't know if you've ever heard of it but there was an '80s sitcom called 'A Fine Romance', starring Judi Dench and her late husband Michael Williams. The song was the theme tune ^^)

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I mean it makes no sense in the British Victorian vernacular, no? But it's a great line.

I hadn't heard of the show, but I was thinking it was a bit soppy. I'm not so good with technology (even writing about it, except vibrators, naturally) so this is what I got for the prompt.

[ancientreader]

I have been sitting here for a while trying to figure out a way to work in "You'll be singing a different tune then!" but no dice, so I'll go with inarticulate admiration. :^)