holmes_minor | Fic: The Donkeys: G

Title: The Donkeys
Form/Word Count: 500
Characters/Pairing: Mr Sherlock Holmes, Dr John Watson, Inspector Lestrade, Inspector Hopkins
Rating: G
Warning/Content: Dr Watson looks out of the window and sees a donkey in the backyard. This is only the first surprise of the day.
Celebrating the Feast of Asses

“Holmes,” Dr Watson began. “I’m sure I saw a donkey in our backyard.”

Holmes looked out of the window. “You’re right. We should go and investigate.”

The two men went downstairs and into the yard. There was indeed a donkey peacefully eating the grass.

“Mrs Hudson,” Holmes yelled.

There was no response, although the donkey did raise its head.

“You know, I haven’t seen Mrs Hudson for the last few days,” Watson said.

Holmes tried shouting again, and the donkey mooched over to see him.

At that point, Inspector Lestrade walked into the yard.

“Lestrade, there’s a donkey eating the grass,” Holmes said.

“Quite right, Mr Holmes. You’re as observant as ever, I see,” Lestrade replied.

Holmes snorted. “And it thinks it’s Mrs Hudson.”

“That’s because she is Mrs Hudson,” Lestrade said. The donkey came over to him and he patted her neck and felt in his pocket, taking out a piece of carrot and offering it to her.

By this time, Watson was beginning to wonder whether he had wandered into a strange version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream and somehow Mrs Hudson had turned into a donkey.

Then they heard the sound of approaching hooves, and Inspector Hopkins came into the yard, leading another donkey. “Come along, Esme,” he said.

Watson looked at Holmes and he could see his own thoughts reflected in Holmes’ expression. Surely both their landlady and the previous maid couldn’t have become donkeys?

“That’s a donkey,” Holmes began tentatively.

“Mr Holmes is being particularly observant today,” Lestrade said cheerfully.

“Mrs Hudson will be impressed,” Hopkins replied. “She wondered how long it would take him to notice she wasn’t at Baker Street.”

Holmes looked at the first donkey.

Lestrade and Hopkins started to laugh. When Lestrade had managed to stop laughing he said, “Oh, Mr Holmes, you do have some strange ideas. Mrs Hudson and the new Mrs Hopkins have been helping us out with a case.”

Hopkins took over the tale. “There’s a lot of money to be made in illegal gambling, especially by anyone who can influence the outcome. The latest ploy has been in donkey racing, with large sums of money changing hands. We borrowed a couple of seaside donkeys, changed their names, and took them to a number of races. Mrs Hudson and Esme came to be our eyes and ears in the betting ring, where nobody took any notice of them. It was all very successful and we have been able to arrest the ring leaders.”

“It turns out the ladies were also very successful at betting,” Lestrade added. “Mrs Hudson has won enough for a week’s holiday on the south coast. She has invited me to spend some time with her once I have returned the donkeys.”

“What?” Holmes and Watson stared at the inspector as they absorbed this latest piece of information.

“Oh, didn’t you know?” Hopkins asked. “They’ve been courting for months.”

“Well, we can’t stay talking to you,” Lestrade said. “We’ve got a train to catch.”