ext_1620665: knight on horseback (Default)
[identity profile] scfrankles.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] holmes_minor
Title: A Whole Lot of Bull
Form/Wordcount: 378 words
Characters/Pairings: Holmes, Watson
Rating: G
Warnings/Content: N/A
Author’s Notes: Written for the Dec 2017 prompt: pick a precious stone or metal and an animal as well, and then include them in your story, and specifically for my own prompt: Holmes dresses up as a prize bull and takes the silver medal at an agricultural show. This idea was inspired by Richard and Cherry Kearton's ox hide, which I first heard about on QI.


Watson fiddled with his judge’s badge, glanced around and edged closer to the bull’s mouth. He cleared his throat.

“How... is it going, dear fellow?”

There was a pause and then the bull answered him.

“Very well, Watson! I believe I’ve managed to get a clear photograph of our suspect talking to the associate he insists he’s never met. So if you could ask Inspector Granger to bring the cart round? If it’s parked in front of me, I should be able to exit discreetly and help you both to load the hide.”

“Of course.” Watson looked behind him at the crowds enjoying the agricultural show. “Though I do think you’d better wait until after the prizes are awarded, Holmes. It would look more natural for us both to leave after that.”

“Indeed,” said Holmes’ voice. “I bow to your greater wisdom, old chap, and I will see you in a little while!”

“Until later then.” Watson walked away from the bull as nonchalantly as possible.

A man smiled at him as he passed. “That’s a splendid-looking beast, isn’t it? I suppose you must rate it highly the way you’ve been going backwards and forwards to examine it. In the running for a prize, is it?”

Watson returned the smile cautiously. “Well… It might be.”



“Silver!”

Holmes strode into 221B’s sitting room and threw himself down into his chair.

“Well, yes,” said Watson, “but—”

“Silver, Watson!” Holmes scowled. “Do you know the work Mr. Rowland Ward put into that bull, to my design? The scraping? The shaping? Not to mention having to dispose of an entire bull’s worth of meat!”

Watson furrowed his brow. “But be reasonable, old man. I couldn’t have awarded you the gold medal. There would have been so much attention—reporters, photographers and so on. People would have noticed the bull wasn’t moving!”

Holmes didn’t reply. He simply turned his head away and continued to mutter to himself.

Watson sighed.

He gloomily settled himself down in his own chair just as Mrs. Hudson made her entrance with the tea.

She stopped and furrowed her brow at the scene of misery before her.

“Now, now, Mr. Holmes. What on earth are you beefing about?”

And she frowned at Dr. Watson’s sudden and vigorous hand signals.

Date: 2017-12-14 06:39 pm (UTC)
ext_1789368: okapi (Default)
From: [identity profile] okapi1895.livejournal.com
Ha, ha! I enjoyed Mrs. Hudson's quip at the end very much. And the thought of poor Mister Ward when he first got his instructions. But Holmes shouldn't grumble about second place. The alternative could have been an Io-pener.

Date: 2017-12-14 07:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com
Strangely enough, I have been waiting for this ;)

Holmes should be flattered he won anything - and he really wouldn't have wanted to take place in the Grand Parade of winners.

Date: 2017-12-14 10:54 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-12-15 05:52 am (UTC)
debriswoman: (Default)
From: [personal profile] debriswoman
Holmes really did want it all, didn’t he?
Highly inventive.

Date: 2017-12-15 04:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mafief.livejournal.com
Yes! You did wrote it and I’m wicked excited about it! :D I like where you went with it.

I’ve heard of disguising camera men before and knowing where the practice came from was neat. I’m thoroughly impressed with their ability to lug that size camera around and get the images that they did.

Date: 2018-01-07 07:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gardnerhill.livejournal.com
Good thing Holmes didn't take the gold - those Madrid cattle-brokers looking for a new combatant for the bullring would have been disappointed.

Date: 2018-01-07 09:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gardnerhill.livejournal.com
Watson standing in the middle of the toril, splendid in his shiny traje de luces and velvet hat, heedless of the cries of "Ole!" and "Viva el torero!" because he is growling under his breath, "Holmes, I will bloody murder you."

"My dear Watson," says the bull imperturbably, "what do you think matador literally means?"

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