Poetry: A Journey: G

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Title: A Journey

Form/Length: 221, [a homemade variation on the 221B form with ‘A’ being the first word and 221b (counted as 1 word) being the final]; acrostic poem spelling out the May prompt

Rating: Gen

Summary: Watson reflects on the journey from Jezail bullet to Baker Street.

A journey of four thousand miles begins with one step, mine, into the path of a

Jezail bullet. That step, misstep, might have been journey’s first and last, save for the brave heart of an

Orderly and the strong back of a pack-horse upon which I narrowly escaped,

Under a snarling Afghan sun, the clutches of the murderous Ghazis.

Removed was I, on that loping, lumbering caravan of suffering, to Peshawur,

Not suspecting that my pain, my prolonged hardship was far from over.

Every step about the wards, every breath of air enjoyed upon the verandah, was one of a finite set,

Yawning before me lay the perils of enteric

Fever. Once again, journey’s end seemed near, but the curse of our Indian possessions lifted, and I was

Removed once more, less man than walking bones, in the troopship

Orontes to Portsmouth Jetty. Unmoored, untethered, I drained alongside my fellow idlers to London,

My pockets heavy with eleven shilling, sixpence of paternal concern. Under such a sail, I drifted

A few hundred steps from hotel to Bar, one gasp of recognition from shoulder-tap to smile, a hansom

To a bleak stone staircase of a great hospital, then the grasp of a plaster-mottled, acid-stained hand.

Oh arduous was the voyage in its undertaking, but so sweet the reckoning! My home-coming to

221B!

Comments

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful - both the form of the poem, really clever - and the content. You've written Watson's journey beautifully.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I thought the prompt was nice and onion-ish, with many layers. It was fun to play with the form and length and content at once. Moving pieces.

[debriswoman]

Really well done and very clever:-)

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Thank you, thank you!

[scfrankles.livejournal.com]

Such a wonderful interpretation of the prompt, and of the 221B form.

I really liked your reworking of ACD's words to make My pockets heavy with eleven shilling, sixpence of paternal concern. It's so poetic but also makes such a pertinent point - you would think an affectionate "father" would hand over a bit more dosh to a man wounded in the name of his country.

And that's such a lovely conclusion ^^

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

And thank you for letting me know about the money. I have no idea how much or little it was (although one could imagine it wasn't a fortune if Watson ran out so fast, but then again he did admit to spending it more freely than he should) at the time or even now. But it's a nice image of an allowance, 'walking around money' and Watson's actually walking around.

I have another less interesting idea for the prompt which may or may not escape the hutch.

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

Very clever! Watson's journey did indeed go from A(fghanistan) to 221(B).

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Thank you!