Fic: Trying: G

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Title: Trying
Rating: Gen
Length: 500
Content Notes: pre-slash; Holmes/Watson; library book renewal trope; crack
Summary: Watson gets a shock at the library.
Author's Note: for the monthly prompt: renewal


“I would like to—.”

“Oh, I have wonderful news for you!”

“Really?”

The clerk bobbed behind the desk and reappeared with a thin tome. “The board of library governors have granted your petition for a third renewal of this title.”

“Excuse me?”

“Two renewals of any circulating item is the rule, but given your generous gift, they couldn’t help but be persuaded, Mister Holmes.”

“Ah, but I’m—“

The clerk returned the card. “We’re so delighted to have such a distinguished patron and benefactor. Excuse me for a moment.”

“By Jove,” I muttered under my moustache. “How did our library cards get switched? And what on earth could interest Holmes that much?” I lifted the plain red cover to glance at the title page. “Good Lord! How to Seduce Your Biographer Without Really Trying!”

“Would you like me to wrap it in brown paper as usual, Mister Holmes?”

I stared at the clerk, then somewhat inspired, huffed impatiently and replied, “Naturally.”

---

For the rest of the day, I shuffled from club to pub to park bench to pew with the brown paper parcel under my arm.

Nine weeks.

I did not know for how long Holmes had been thinking upon the subject prior to checking out the book, but he’d had the book itself for nine weeks.

And, as Holmes could never resist an experiment, in those nine weeks, he’d obviously been applying the suggested techniques, whatever they were.

I considered recent events in this startling new light: the time when Holmes’s experiment—gone awry—had singed my eyebrows, and he’d apologised; the time when Holmes’s case—gone awry—had sent me tumbling into the Thames, and he’d apologised; the time when I’d been in bed with an ague following my dip in the Thames and Holmes had shouted from downstairs, “For God’s sake, man, stop malingering! The game’s afoot!”

All part of some cleverly conceived but very poorly executed seduction!

Well, well, well. What to do?

I could give Holmes the book and confront him. I could leave the book where Holmes would find it and confront him. I could return the book to the library and explain the misunderstanding. I could throw the book in the Thames and see if it drowned or simply came down with a nasty ague.

So many possibilities.

I decide upon the brave notion of watching our Baker Street rooms from afar and sneaking back to my bedroom as soon as I observed Holmes leaving. I would read the book myself, then I could seduce him without really trying!

Or at least understand what he truly meant when he said, ‘Your moustache looks and smells like an electrocuted weasel, Watson!’

I went upstairs and unwrapped the book.

Title page, yes.

Next page, blank.

Next, blank.

Blank.

The book was blank.

I flipped to the final page, where scrawled in a familiar hand, was the question:

Is it working, Watson?

I began to curse as the footsteps grew louder on the stairs.

Comments

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

Snort! This is hilarious.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And thanks for starting the trope! I am having fun with it.

[hagstrom]

Haha! Clever detective!!! And worst of all is that---It actually was working!

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Holmes clearly knows Watson is the most suggestible man on the planet & using it to his advantage.

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

Splendid! I do like the chat up line of "Your moustache looks and smells like an electrocuted weasel, Watson!", although the mind boggles on to how Holmes had the data for that comparison.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Yeah, eeeww!

[equusentric.livejournal.com]

Holmes, you sneaky devil.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Indeed! Thanks!

[scfrankles.livejournal.com]

The month is young, my dear, things could very well get Weirder, you really shouldn't throw down the gauntlet like that. *sighs* I should never have doubted you ^___^

Particularly fond of I could throw the book in the Thames and see if it drowned or simply came down with a nasty ague. So many possibilities. ^___^

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Ha! It's not the easiest of tropes, but I find myself appreciating the challenge, trying to figure out how renewing a library book (or trying to) might be interesting. There may be time for one more before the end of the month.

Thank you! It's an odd line in an odd ficlet.

[debriswoman]

Very well done:-)
A cunning plan, Holmes.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Indeed!

[thewhitelily]

This is sheer genius. :D

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Aw. Thanks so much!