Fic: The Tablecloth

[smallhobbit]

Title: The Tablecloth
Form/Word Count: 319
Characters/Pairing:  Dr Watson, Sherlock Holmes, Mrs Hudson
Rating: G
Warning/Content: Mrs Hudson is not happy, and for some, completely unknown, reason she blames Holmes.

 

We were peacefully eating breakfast when Mrs Hudson suddenly burst into our rooms.

“Who,” she demanded, “is responsible for this?”  She held up a tablecloth which had a neat circle of holes in the middle.

I felt beholden to make some response and said mildly, “Maybe it was moths.”

Mrs Hudson gave me the sort of look I suspect she reserves for any moth which dares to come within a yard of her linen.

Holmes looked at the tablecloth and remarked, “They’re not burn marks.”

“No, Mr Holmes,” she replied.  “I have plenty of experience of burn marks, and I can confirm there is no sign of any burn.  Which also means they are not bullet holes.”

My eyebrows shot up at that remark, but I refrained, probably quite wisely, from commenting.

“It was Inspector Hopkins,” Holmes said unexpectedly.

I gasped, and Mrs Hudson sighed.  “Mr Holmes, I trust you are not trying to insult my intelligence by claiming the inspector cut holes in my tablecloth.”

I sincerely hoped Holmes was not planning on insulting Mrs Hudson’s intelligence, because that would go very badly indeed.

Holmes continued, “Who gave me the idea.”

Mrs Hudson looked straight at Holmes and said, “I shall have words with him next time he calls round.”

“Holmes!” I exclaimed.  Hopkins would be mortified if he was accused, however erroneously, of the action.

“And after he left, I thought I would try an experiment,” Holmes concluded lamely.

“Was it successful?”

“What?”

“Your experiment?”

“Not really!”

“So you ruined a perfectly decent tablecloth for an unsuccessful experiment?”

I suddenly remembered an urgent appointment at my club, and, pausing only to pick up my hat, I hurried out of our rooms and down the stairs.  As I opened the front door, I met Lestrade who was about to knock.

I grabbed his arm and practically dragged him down the street.  “We’ll be safer elsewhere,” I told him.

 

Comments

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Yeah, exit stage left!

[smallhobbit]

Very wisely!

[scfrankles]

That genuinely made me laugh out loud ^____^

Particularly: “Mr Holmes, I trust you are not trying to insult my intelligence by claiming the inspector cut holes in my tablecloth.”

I sincerely hoped Holmes was not planning on insulting Mrs Hudson’s intelligence, because that would go very badly indeed. ^____^

[smallhobbit]

Thank you. I'm delighted to hear that. And that you enjoyed that part, it was fun to write.

[mightymads]

Thank you for sharing! Holmes will have to come up with something ingenious to mollify Mrs. Hudson. That might even involve cleaning up his mess once in a long while.

[smallhobbit]

Thank you. Mrs Hudson wouldn't trust him not to make more mess. Several bottles of gin may help.

[debriswoman]

I hope there is sufficient gin in stock...

[smallhobbit]

I believe she sent out for more!