July Activity Post

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

As I am sure you are aware, the agony column within the Marylebone Monthly Illustrated is very popular.  All sorts of small ads are to be found there, and we understand even the great Mr Sherlock Holmes is a devotee of the column.

We are therefore inviting all our readers and subscribers to place their own advertisements, at a specially reduced rate for the next two weeks only.

Please submit all new advertisements as a new comment to this entry, whilst any responses will be posted to the comment.

For those of you who have not before placed such an advertisement, the following will serve as an example:

Subj: Mr Jabez Wilson (REDH)
Assistant required for small pawnbroker's in Coburg Square.  Reasonable wages paid for reliable man.  Must have good references and no inclination to dig.

(We understand Mr Wilson was disappointed with his last assistant.)

Comments

[laurose8.livejournal.com]

I do like that one. With Mr Wilson's luck, he going to find someone furtively converting the attics to astronomy.

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

Hopefully not the advertiser below ;)

Giant Rat (SUSS)

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

Berth on suitable ocean going vessel required for large rodent. Preferred destination the East Indies.

Replies in confidence to Box R47.

Re: Giant Rat (SUSS)

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Always love the Rat references. Perhaps he and Inky will meet when he comes to town.

Re: Giant Rat (SUSS)

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

It would seem rather appropriate if they did.

RE: Giant Rat (SUSS)

[debriswoman]

:-p

Re: Giant Rat (SUSS)

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

:)

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

LOOKING FOR LOVE - Wife needed for newly appointed baronet. Ability to host social events in Dartmoor a plus. Must loathe dogs.

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

We wish Sir Henry success in his search.

[godsdaisiechain.livejournal.com]

Weekly tea and discussion for a society of landladies of single gentlemen with literary proclivities seeks speakers. Inquiries to Mrs. H. 221 Baker Street.

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

We await reports of these meetings with interest.

[godsdaisiechain.livejournal.com]

We await speakers.

The Bicycle Shop Owner (MISS)

[scfrankles.livejournal.com]

LOST IN CAMBRIDGE - a Raleigh bicycle last seen in the care of a Mr. S. Holmes.

Mr. Holmes, the bicycle is rather expensive and we would like it back.

Re: The Bicycle Shop Owner (MISS)

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

Also, lost dog. Answers to the name of Pompey.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

The Whiskers and Words Society of London welcomes new members of the furred, feathered, or scaled orders who appreciate spirited recitations and thoughtful discussion of literary works. Please inquire of Mister I. Quill, Her Majesty's Zoological Garden, Rodentia of the World exhibit.

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

This Society is sure to prove very popular.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Perhaps a parallel with Mrs. Hudson's gathering above.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Attendants required for distinguished gentlemen's club. Soft-footing and susurrant breathing essential. Proficiency at charades a plus. Please inquire in person (but in writing) at D. Club, Pall Mall.

[debriswoman]

A suitably subdued and hushed reaction is, of course, expected from the successful applicant.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. Along with aversion of the gaze :)

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

A little worker gang and their queen seek live-in keeper with a keen interest in organisation. Sweet compensation offered as well as good views of the Channel. Please apply to villa on the southern downs, Sussex.

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

This is absolutely delightful, and your icon is perfect.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm finding this one (like the obituary one) to be quite fun.

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

I'm very pleased to hear it. With JWP on we wanted something easy.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Rest in Peace, Rex of the Long-Flowing Mane. The Pride will avenge your wrongful Death. Beware of the Tides.

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

It was a travesty of justice.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Peace. Quiet. Routine. All the rest of my days. Anybeing with a reasonable offer for a guarantee of such will be recompensed by keen bow-window insights and superior financial auditing. Please apply to M. Holmes c/o D. Club, Pall Mall. Energetic applicants are advised to take their services elsewhere.

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

And do not think you can disguise your energy - Mr Holmes will be scrutinising all applicants carefully.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

Indeed. Any display of vigour will be noted immediately. With disgust.

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

St. Elizabeth's of Walsall proudly welcomes its new headmistress, Miss Violet Hunter, whose rich and varied experiences will no doubt benefit all our young ladies. Along with a keen, practical mind and a wealth of energy, she also brings Watson, a delightful and devoted Mastiff mix pup.

[thesmallhobbit.livejournal.com]

St Elizabeth's sounds like an excellent forward thinking establishment. Do they teach the young ladies to ride a bicycle? Or is Watson inclined to chase them?

[okapi1895.livejournal.com]

I think bicycle-riding is a compulsory part of the curriculum. Watson's a genial breed.