Fic: Mrs Hudson's Toolkit: G
Aug. 26th, 2017 09:56 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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holmes_minorTitle: Mrs Hudson's Toolkit
Form/Word count: 339
Characters/Pairing: Mrs Hudson, Mrs Turner
Rating: G
Warning/Content: Mrs Hudson is going on holiday and therefore gives Mrs Turner and list of the items essential for the smooth running of 221 Baker Stret
Item No 1 – BUCKET – for throwing water over anyone (yes, anyone) who sings on the doorstep. (Carol singers know to stand on the far side of the road.)
Item No 2 – CARPET BEATER – the moth are back in the broom cupboard. As soon as they are heard, apply the carpet beater liberally. It is merely a temporary solution, but better than nothing.
Item No 3 – UMBRELLA – for use in prodding any gentleman who is tiptoeing up or down stairs with their boots in their hand. They are Up To No Good. Dr Watson occasionally ascends the stairs holding his boots if he has been out late with a patient; it will be obvious if this is the case, and in which case the umbrella is not needed – a cup of tea might be appreciated. On other occasions the rule will apply.
Item No 4 – ROLLING PIN – for any time when unseemly sounds are heard in Mr Holmes’ rooms. The threat of the rolling pin is known to deter both friend and foe. And if the threat is not sufficient, actual usage will soon make the point.
Item No 5 – LARGE SAUCEPAN – only needed on rare occasions when an unsavoury character forces their way into the kitchen. Apply firmly to the head. There is nothing more embarrassing when a nasty criminal than to need to go to hospital to have a saucepan removed from one’s head.
~~~~~
Mrs Hudson passed the list over to Mrs Turner. “That should cover most eventualities. If either of the gentlemen start giving you any trouble, say ‘I wonder how large this month’s off licence bill will be’, and that should have the desired effect.”
“Thank you, my dear,” Mrs Turner replied. “I’m sure I can manage for the week. Enjoy your holiday, and don’t worry, Esme and I will be fine.”
“I’m sure you will,” Mrs Hudson said. She picked up her suitcase, prodded Mr Holmes with her umbrella when she noticed him looking speculatively at the padlock on the broom cupboard door, and departed.
Form/Word count: 339
Characters/Pairing: Mrs Hudson, Mrs Turner
Rating: G
Warning/Content: Mrs Hudson is going on holiday and therefore gives Mrs Turner and list of the items essential for the smooth running of 221 Baker Stret
Item No 1 – BUCKET – for throwing water over anyone (yes, anyone) who sings on the doorstep. (Carol singers know to stand on the far side of the road.)
Item No 2 – CARPET BEATER – the moth are back in the broom cupboard. As soon as they are heard, apply the carpet beater liberally. It is merely a temporary solution, but better than nothing.
Item No 3 – UMBRELLA – for use in prodding any gentleman who is tiptoeing up or down stairs with their boots in their hand. They are Up To No Good. Dr Watson occasionally ascends the stairs holding his boots if he has been out late with a patient; it will be obvious if this is the case, and in which case the umbrella is not needed – a cup of tea might be appreciated. On other occasions the rule will apply.
Item No 4 – ROLLING PIN – for any time when unseemly sounds are heard in Mr Holmes’ rooms. The threat of the rolling pin is known to deter both friend and foe. And if the threat is not sufficient, actual usage will soon make the point.
Item No 5 – LARGE SAUCEPAN – only needed on rare occasions when an unsavoury character forces their way into the kitchen. Apply firmly to the head. There is nothing more embarrassing when a nasty criminal than to need to go to hospital to have a saucepan removed from one’s head.
~~~~~
Mrs Hudson passed the list over to Mrs Turner. “That should cover most eventualities. If either of the gentlemen start giving you any trouble, say ‘I wonder how large this month’s off licence bill will be’, and that should have the desired effect.”
“Thank you, my dear,” Mrs Turner replied. “I’m sure I can manage for the week. Enjoy your holiday, and don’t worry, Esme and I will be fine.”
“I’m sure you will,” Mrs Hudson said. She picked up her suitcase, prodded Mr Holmes with her umbrella when she noticed him looking speculatively at the padlock on the broom cupboard door, and departed.
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