![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gardnerhill posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
holmes_minorTitle: Crestfallen
Author: gardnerhill
Fandom: ACD
Pairing: Sherlock Holmes & John Watson
Word Count: 300
Rating: G
Warning: None
Summary: We’re done here. I’ll send you the bill.
Author's Notes: Written for the January 2024 Holmes Minor monthly prompt “Crest.”
***
Story on Dreamwidth
Story on AO3
A small but not insignificant number of our cases have been solved by simply looking at the wall when we walk into an estate.
Any case in which an inheritance or any other wealth hangs in the balance overwhelmingly points to base greed or resentment, with no mystery nor intelligence behind it. Most such cases do not present themselves as puzzles for my friend’s brain. However if a case comes to us via an overbearing and/or titled client who treats us like hired help, Sherlock Holmes will indeed take their money, have them bankroll our visit to the home in question, give a small nod upon entering the door, then announce the motive to their astonishment and anger.
If Holmes is especially peeved at the client, he’ll let me do the honours instead. The more awful the client, the more bored I sound when I announce that the bar sinister on the family crest clearly shows their family’s illegitimacy and hence their motive for attempting to sway the law or the heir to their cause, case closed. That the denouement comes not from the celebrated detective they hired but his mere note-taker strikes them straight to the tender spot.
Such cases have the added benefit of preventing a repeat visit to our door by pompous irritants and their like-minded peers to whom they whine about the incident. They have also, once or twice, resulted in genuine cases brought by said peers (who respect our candour and share our dislike for the former client).
Another very nice side-effect of these “crest” cases is the cresting of something else thanks to wealthy idiots: such funds go directly toward our retirement savings. We have our eyes on a cottage in Sussex, and Holmes is very strongly tempted to call the place Crest Lookout.
Author: gardnerhill
Fandom: ACD
Pairing: Sherlock Holmes & John Watson
Word Count: 300
Rating: G
Warning: None
Summary: We’re done here. I’ll send you the bill.
Author's Notes: Written for the January 2024 Holmes Minor monthly prompt “Crest.”
***
Story on Dreamwidth
Story on AO3
A small but not insignificant number of our cases have been solved by simply looking at the wall when we walk into an estate.
Any case in which an inheritance or any other wealth hangs in the balance overwhelmingly points to base greed or resentment, with no mystery nor intelligence behind it. Most such cases do not present themselves as puzzles for my friend’s brain. However if a case comes to us via an overbearing and/or titled client who treats us like hired help, Sherlock Holmes will indeed take their money, have them bankroll our visit to the home in question, give a small nod upon entering the door, then announce the motive to their astonishment and anger.
If Holmes is especially peeved at the client, he’ll let me do the honours instead. The more awful the client, the more bored I sound when I announce that the bar sinister on the family crest clearly shows their family’s illegitimacy and hence their motive for attempting to sway the law or the heir to their cause, case closed. That the denouement comes not from the celebrated detective they hired but his mere note-taker strikes them straight to the tender spot.
Such cases have the added benefit of preventing a repeat visit to our door by pompous irritants and their like-minded peers to whom they whine about the incident. They have also, once or twice, resulted in genuine cases brought by said peers (who respect our candour and share our dislike for the former client).
Another very nice side-effect of these “crest” cases is the cresting of something else thanks to wealthy idiots: such funds go directly toward our retirement savings. We have our eyes on a cottage in Sussex, and Holmes is very strongly tempted to call the place Crest Lookout.
