The Christmas Train
Dec. 4th, 2018 04:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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Title: The Christmas Train
Rating: Teen
Length: 405
Notes: Song parody. Alt First Meeting. Holmes/Watson. POV Holmes.
Summary: Holmes meets a handsome stranger on the Christmas train.
Notes: Not a Christmas carol but it is a song. The Kiss in the Railway Train, a music hall song from 1864. The girl meets a man in a train and he kisses her in a tunnel and his moustache comes off on her face and he turns out to be a pickpocket and he steals her money and the police catch him. Also, for the picture prompt fun photo from yesterday which is beautiful (give it a look) of the Durango & Silverton train in winter (Colorado).
Some say a trip by rail
at Christmas cannot fail.
To me, it brings naught but strain.
When I think of an event
which happen’d when I went
a-riding in a Christmas train.
Was headed out to sea,
a briny mystery
awaited me—in vain.
For I met a fine gent,
a-going where I went,
a-riding in that Christmas train.
His natural panache
from laces to moustache
gave my ‘chilles heel a sprain,
and when our eyes did meet
he offered me a seat
a-riding in that Christmas train.
What he whisper’d in my ear
made me pink from front to rear
and rear to front again.
And then he bid me sit,
said how snugly we would fit
a-riding in that Christmas train.
And when the tunnel neared,
my heart was quite afeared
it wouldn’t bear the strain,
but scarcely we were in
I felt around my bend
a-tickling in that Christmas train.
The darkness was complete,
but we rode nice and neat.
I’d nothing to complain.
With each bump and pitch,
he scratched plum ev’ry itch
that plagued me in that Christmas train.
And when the darkness cleared,
how handsome he appeared.
His moustache waxed not waned.
O goodness, what a fix!
To have it on my lips
while riding in that Christmas train!
The gent just beamed and smiled;
‘There’s more to drive you wild’
‘twas his whispered refrain.
‘Next time the train sharp stops,
I’ll give you all I gots
right here in this Christmas train.’
It wasn’t meant to be
for very hastily
a guard approached, constrained.
‘A message I have got
by telegraph to stop
and plead for you to save the train.’
‘Dear sir, there’s been a crime,
just a little of your time,
will spare us shame profane.’
The gent was undaunted;
‘twas then I knew I wanted
him with me on that Christmas train.
‘Shall we investigate?’
I asked. At his ‘Can’t wait!'
my heart leapt quite insane.
Together, doc and sleuth,
we got right to the truth
of The Case of the Christmas Train.
The gent was so amazed.
My ev'rything he praised.
Skirt to star, suit to brain.
I begged him come with me
on holiday by sea.
And so, we left the Christmas train.
Some say a trip by rail
at Christmas cannot fail.
To me, it brings a grin inane.
Quite a lot can transpire,
a very Wildest desire,
a-riding in a Christmas train.
Rating: Teen
Length: 405
Notes: Song parody. Alt First Meeting. Holmes/Watson. POV Holmes.
Summary: Holmes meets a handsome stranger on the Christmas train.
Notes: Not a Christmas carol but it is a song. The Kiss in the Railway Train, a music hall song from 1864. The girl meets a man in a train and he kisses her in a tunnel and his moustache comes off on her face and he turns out to be a pickpocket and he steals her money and the police catch him. Also, for the picture prompt fun photo from yesterday which is beautiful (give it a look) of the Durango & Silverton train in winter (Colorado).
Some say a trip by rail
at Christmas cannot fail.
To me, it brings naught but strain.
When I think of an event
which happen’d when I went
a-riding in a Christmas train.
Was headed out to sea,
a briny mystery
awaited me—in vain.
For I met a fine gent,
a-going where I went,
a-riding in that Christmas train.
His natural panache
from laces to moustache
gave my ‘chilles heel a sprain,
and when our eyes did meet
he offered me a seat
a-riding in that Christmas train.
What he whisper’d in my ear
made me pink from front to rear
and rear to front again.
And then he bid me sit,
said how snugly we would fit
a-riding in that Christmas train.
And when the tunnel neared,
my heart was quite afeared
it wouldn’t bear the strain,
but scarcely we were in
I felt around my bend
a-tickling in that Christmas train.
The darkness was complete,
but we rode nice and neat.
I’d nothing to complain.
With each bump and pitch,
he scratched plum ev’ry itch
that plagued me in that Christmas train.
And when the darkness cleared,
how handsome he appeared.
His moustache waxed not waned.
O goodness, what a fix!
To have it on my lips
while riding in that Christmas train!
The gent just beamed and smiled;
‘There’s more to drive you wild’
‘twas his whispered refrain.
‘Next time the train sharp stops,
I’ll give you all I gots
right here in this Christmas train.’
It wasn’t meant to be
for very hastily
a guard approached, constrained.
‘A message I have got
by telegraph to stop
and plead for you to save the train.’
‘Dear sir, there’s been a crime,
just a little of your time,
will spare us shame profane.’
The gent was undaunted;
‘twas then I knew I wanted
him with me on that Christmas train.
‘Shall we investigate?’
I asked. At his ‘Can’t wait!'
my heart leapt quite insane.
Together, doc and sleuth,
we got right to the truth
of The Case of the Christmas Train.
The gent was so amazed.
My ev'rything he praised.
Skirt to star, suit to brain.
I begged him come with me
on holiday by sea.
And so, we left the Christmas train.
Some say a trip by rail
at Christmas cannot fail.
To me, it brings a grin inane.
Quite a lot can transpire,
a very Wildest desire,
a-riding in a Christmas train.