[identity profile] okapi1895.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] holmes_minor
Title: Everywhere
Rating: Gen
Length: 250
Warnings: American pronunciation & slang; anachronistic slang
Notes: Parody of song lyrics
Summary: Sherlock Holmes sings a blues song about his Hiatus.
Author’s Note: There’ve been many versions of this song recorded. Here’s the Johnny Cash one. For the June prompt: travel.

I was saddled in a train up a narrow track to London-town.
When along came a Mister, who stepped in right ‘side my tweed ‘n’ browns.
He chucked his case up on the rack and said, “Mister, shall we ride?”
Then he settled his girth into his berth, his mirth a furlong wide.
He asked if I’d ever seen a town with fog so thick and curled,
And I said, “Listen, guv, I bet I’ve sniffed every dragon’s cough in this here world.”

I’ve been everywhere, man.
I’ve been everywhere, man.
No false beard or fake name spared, man.
Herrs, Khmers, Pierres, man.
Of mist, I’ve breathed my share, man.
I’ve been everywhere.

Been to Tuscany, Sicily, Greek Isles, across the sea
Cyprus, Damascus, on so many camels I could cuss,
Bagdad, Islamabad, caravan to Afghanistan
Himalayas, Katmandu, Dehlis, be they old or new
Marrakesh, Uttar Pradesh, but the best east-meets-west?
Was lotsa fun ‘n’ drama with a holy-rollin’ Llhasa llama!

I’ve been everywhere, man.
Persia to Khartoum, man.
Mecca to the Louvre, man.
From Rome to King Tut's tomb, man
Without a log down a Reichen-flume, man.
I’ve been everywhere.

Been to Greenland, Iceland, ‘n’ spots where they don’t play nice, man.
Bengal Bay to Montpellier, Casablanca’s on the way.
Bahrain, the south of Spain, from mountains peaked to this here train.
Trincomalee, the Caspian Sea, Gibraltar’s cliffs to Tripoli
Bangladesh to the baby Jesus’s creche.
Jungles, deserts, pyraminds; just watch me parlez tar derivatives!

I’ve been everywhere, man.
I’ve been everywhere.

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Holmes Minor

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