stonepicnicking_okapi: Sherlock Holmes (holmes)
stonepicnicking_okapi ([personal profile] stonepicnicking_okapi) wrote in [community profile] holmes_minor2022-05-11 07:57 pm

Fic: Just Because You Didn't Call for a Plumber...: Gen

Title: ....Doesn't Mean You Don't Need One.
Rating: Gen
Length: 100
Notes: Supernatural AU; Vampire!Holmes; Inspired by these lines from the poem "Vines" by Kaveh Akbar: fat wet vines creep through onto my / floors in the pipes and through / the walls gentle as blue flames they curl / my living there is ice in my attic sugar on my / tile I am present and useless like a nose torn / from a face and set in a bowl.


“Who are you?!”

“Escott. Plumber.”

“Nobody called for a plumber!”

“Doesn’t mean you don’t need one.”

“AARGH!”

A screaming housemaid burst in the living room followed by torrents of fat wet vines in rapid, murderous pursuit.

Holmes spoke an oath, wrapped the vines in a large coil, and pulled.

When it was over, he released me from my imprisonment in the music box on the mantelpiece and left the torn nose of the monster in the butter dish atop sunken parsley.

The Abernettys were too stunned to notice the plumber’s lack of reflection in the mirror as we took leave.

smallhobbit: (Holmes Top Hat)

[personal profile] smallhobbit 2022-05-12 01:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not surprised the Abernettys missed the reflection - they were just slighty distracted!
debriswoman: (Default)

[personal profile] debriswoman 2022-05-12 08:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Crikey!!
firecat: damiel from wings of desire tasting blood on his fingers. text "i has a flavor!" (Default)

[personal profile] firecat 2022-05-13 09:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Your inspiration has yielded quite a delightful, um, salad!
gardnerhill: (Default)

[personal profile] gardnerhill 2022-07-15 10:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Another nose for Spanish Jackie's jar.