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holmes_minor2017-09-23 09:46 pm
mafief.livejournal.com) wrote in holmes_minor2017-09-23 09:46 pm
Fic : The Science of the Cat Language : G
Title: The Science of the Cat Language
Wordcount: 500
Character/Parings: Holmes/Watson
Rating: G
Warning/Content: Fluff, flirting, and overall silliness.
Author’s Notes: I came across Pussy and Her Language by Marvin R. Clark. He invented a cat language and I’ve been giggling over this pamphlet for a little while now… Note that the last one I changed the meaning for the sake of the story.
"What! No, Holmes, I'm not doing this," grumbled Watson. He was miserable and had no desire to do anything outside of mope.
"It's for a case."
"How is learning to speak cat a case? Are you investing cat burglars?"
Holmes frowned, "If it makes you uncomfortable, you can close the curtains and lock the door to preserve your honor."
Hesitating, Watson eventually did just that. Task completed, he returned to his chair and watched Holmes open a pamphlet. Holmes began, "Now repeat after me, aliloo."
"That's absurd. No self-respecting cat would ever say that."
"Not according to Mr. Clark. Ready? Aliloo."
"Fine, alialioo."
"No, only one ali. Aliloo."
"Aliloo. Now what did I just say?"
"Water. aelio is food."
"Aelio. Food. Got it. If I was a cat and my human understood me, I wouldn't starve."
"Next is mieouw."
"Mieouw. That sounds more cat like than aliloo."
"True. That means ‘here’. Part of the cat's language is expressed through their body. Observe the difference when I say mieouw sitting down compared to when change positions."
Watson sat stunned as his friend stood to full height, tossed his head back and puffed out his chest before he cocked his head to the side and landed his piercing eyes on him. "Mieouw."
"Umm, yes that changes it," said Watson shifting in his chair. "I haven't seen a cat stand like that though, more like a peacock."
Deflating back to the familiar consulting detective pose. "Onto the floor we go," said Holmes as he sat on his heals like some gigantic feline.
"We? You are not serious."
"Yes 'we' and I'm seriously attempting to teach you cat. Part of the lesson includes moving. Now onto the rug you go. Mieouw," said Holmes patting the rug in front of him.
Giving over to the absurdity of the situation, Watson sat on his heals across from the great detective who was heading straight for Bedlam if he kept this up.
"No, that will bother your leg in that position. Curl up on your side here."
Watson did as was requested of him. Holmes followed and laid on his back with his head near Watson’s chest.
"Next lesson, Watson. Some cats have French accents. Take purrieu. In French, the guttural R sounds like a purring cat."
"Purrieu meaning?"
Holmes moved forward into Watson's chest before he said, "Contentment."
"Of course," said Watson as he draped his arm over his friend's chest. "Has my lesson ended?"
"One more, lahle."
"Meaning?"
"Bed."
"You went to all of that trouble to ask me to come to bed? You could have just asked."
Holmes nuzzled in deeper breathing in the warmth and the distinctly Watson scent. "True, but where would be the fun in that? Well, my case is solved."
"What case? Making me do ridiculous things for no point?"
"No, trying to relax you. You've been tense for days. A stressed Watson makes a terrible bedmate." Holmes said with a grin which was returned by a well-deserved, playful swat.
Wordcount: 500
Character/Parings: Holmes/Watson
Rating: G
Warning/Content: Fluff, flirting, and overall silliness.
Author’s Notes: I came across Pussy and Her Language by Marvin R. Clark. He invented a cat language and I’ve been giggling over this pamphlet for a little while now… Note that the last one I changed the meaning for the sake of the story.
"What! No, Holmes, I'm not doing this," grumbled Watson. He was miserable and had no desire to do anything outside of mope.
"It's for a case."
"How is learning to speak cat a case? Are you investing cat burglars?"
Holmes frowned, "If it makes you uncomfortable, you can close the curtains and lock the door to preserve your honor."
Hesitating, Watson eventually did just that. Task completed, he returned to his chair and watched Holmes open a pamphlet. Holmes began, "Now repeat after me, aliloo."
"That's absurd. No self-respecting cat would ever say that."
"Not according to Mr. Clark. Ready? Aliloo."
"Fine, alialioo."
"No, only one ali. Aliloo."
"Aliloo. Now what did I just say?"
"Water. aelio is food."
"Aelio. Food. Got it. If I was a cat and my human understood me, I wouldn't starve."
"Next is mieouw."
"Mieouw. That sounds more cat like than aliloo."
"True. That means ‘here’. Part of the cat's language is expressed through their body. Observe the difference when I say mieouw sitting down compared to when change positions."
Watson sat stunned as his friend stood to full height, tossed his head back and puffed out his chest before he cocked his head to the side and landed his piercing eyes on him. "Mieouw."
"Umm, yes that changes it," said Watson shifting in his chair. "I haven't seen a cat stand like that though, more like a peacock."
Deflating back to the familiar consulting detective pose. "Onto the floor we go," said Holmes as he sat on his heals like some gigantic feline.
"We? You are not serious."
"Yes 'we' and I'm seriously attempting to teach you cat. Part of the lesson includes moving. Now onto the rug you go. Mieouw," said Holmes patting the rug in front of him.
Giving over to the absurdity of the situation, Watson sat on his heals across from the great detective who was heading straight for Bedlam if he kept this up.
"No, that will bother your leg in that position. Curl up on your side here."
Watson did as was requested of him. Holmes followed and laid on his back with his head near Watson’s chest.
"Next lesson, Watson. Some cats have French accents. Take purrieu. In French, the guttural R sounds like a purring cat."
"Purrieu meaning?"
Holmes moved forward into Watson's chest before he said, "Contentment."
"Of course," said Watson as he draped his arm over his friend's chest. "Has my lesson ended?"
"One more, lahle."
"Meaning?"
"Bed."
"You went to all of that trouble to ask me to come to bed? You could have just asked."
Holmes nuzzled in deeper breathing in the warmth and the distinctly Watson scent. "True, but where would be the fun in that? Well, my case is solved."
"What case? Making me do ridiculous things for no point?"
"No, trying to relax you. You've been tense for days. A stressed Watson makes a terrible bedmate." Holmes said with a grin which was returned by a well-deserved, playful swat.