Fic: The Exact Measurements: G

[smallhobbit]

Title: The Exact Measurements
Form/Word Count: 257
Characters/Pairing:  Sherlock Holmes, Dr Watson, Mrs Hudson, Esme the housemaid
Rating: G
Warning/Content: Holmes is conducting an experiment

 

When I returned to our rooms one afternoon after visiting a patient, I found Holmes in his customary thinking position, with his fingers steepled below his chin.  However, he was also lying on the floor, ramrod straight, while Mrs Hudson and Esme fussed about him with a tape measure, apparently measuring him.

After a couple of minutes, Mrs Hudson said, “All done, Mr Holmes, here are your measurements,” and she passed him a scrap of paper.

“Capital!” Holmes replied.  “Watson, your timing is perfect.  Perhaps you could adopt a similar pose so the ladies can measure you too.”

I lay down as requested.  “I feel like I’m being measured for a coffin,” I said.

“Oh no,” Esme replied cheerfully.  “Just a shroud!”

I almost jumped up, but Mrs Hudson’s “Lie still!” prevented me.

A second set of measurements was passed to Holmes and then the two ladies left us.

“You’ll be giving Mrs Hudson ideas,” I muttered.

“Oh no,” Holmes said.  “It was her idea in the first place.”

“What?”

“Lestrade and I found three pieces of cloth all cut out ready for something at the back of the dubious club we went to look at this morning.  When I questioned Mrs Hudson as to whether perhaps the material was for a wedding dress, she said it was much more likely to be for a shroud.  So I thought I would conduct an experiment.  You will be glad to know that one of the pieces would be exactly your size.”

“Somehow I don’t find that particularly reassuring!”